


How Can A Fistfight Be Romantic?

by readbetweenthelions



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Humor, F/M, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Promiscuity, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:00:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readbetweenthelions/pseuds/readbetweenthelions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard McCoy has had enough of waiting for Jim Kirk. He decides to enjoy himself and takes a leaf out of Jim's book, and starts sleeping around with as many of the crew as he can. Jim doesn't exactly take kindly to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Can A Fistfight Be Romantic?

**Author's Note:**

> a friend of mine wanted fic where Bones gets all the action and Jim gets nothing. it's kinda angsty for a while but i figured i'd give you all a nice fun ending.

Leonard McCoy has waited too damn long for Jim Kirk. 

Sure, when they met, McCoy had been wallowing in his divorce and marinating himself in alcohol, but it’s been years since then. Three years at the Academy, during which Bones tried to get rid of Jim in what amounted to the biggest game of playing hard-to-get that had ever been; mission after mission in deep space; checkups and trauma care and visits to the medbay; late night talks and drinks and McCoy’s best attempts at flirting. Maybe he was an old man, and maybe Jim could never see it, but McCoy wanted to bend him over on a biobed, and not just for a prostate exam. 

Jim chased after everything that moved, even after all these years. He’d been _wild_ at the Academy, a different girl or guy in his bed every other night. McCoy had cured him of some weird things over the years, but he never forgot that every time Jim brought back some besotted coed, it should have been McCoy in his bed instead. 

Maybe he was an old coward for not making the first move, but he was an old dog, done doing his own chasing. McCoy was damn sure he deserved to be chased after. God knows he’d dropped enough hints in Jim’s path over the years. 

_No,_ McCoy decides, _if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself._ And he was _not_ going to waste more time and energy panting after the same piece of ass he’d been slobbering over for years. This old dog still had a bit of a run left in him, and he intended to use it fully. 

*** 

Captain James T. Kirk of the starship _Enterprise_ surveys his bridge. He’s hailed McCoy three times now, no response. It wasn’t urgent, but sometimes he just needs Bones around. 

“Where the hell is Bones?” Jim asks. Sulu’s shoulders in front of him lift up and sag back down. No one pays much attention when he calls for Bones when they’re not in a crisis. Bones is his _best friend,_ after all, his security blanket, and sometimes Jim just _needs_ him. Jim frowns and signals Bones. 

“Kirk to McCoy,” he says. “Come in, McCoy.” 

There’s a few seconds of pause before Bones answers. When he does, he’s breathing heavily, and issues his responses between deep breaths. “McCoy to Kirk,” he pants. “Somethin’ you need, Captain?” 

“Where the hell are you?” Jim asks. He pauses for a moment.“Have you been running, or something?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just getting some… just getting some exercise.” 

Something doesn’t sound quite right. Bones _hates_ running, gets his cardio any way he can as long as it’s _not_ running. 

“Is everything okay?” Jim asks. He sees Sulu and Chekov glance at each other in front of him, and pointedly ignores them. 

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Let me uh, finish up, and I’ll be up as soon as I can. McCoy out.” 

Half an hour later, McCoy still hasn’t appeared on the bridge. 

“Spock, locate McCoy,” he commands. 

“Aye, Captain,” Spock responds. His instruments scan the ship for the signal of McCoy’s communicator. “Doctor McCoy is in his quarters, sir.” 

“Spock, you have the con,” Jim says determinedly, and strides into the turbolift, on his way down to Bones’ quarters. 

The door doesn’t slide open when Jim approaches, but Jim didn’t really expect it to. It’s undoubtedly locked. He knocks on the door, a little harshly. “Bones! Are you in there?” 

“Come in,” Bones yells from inside. The door is still locked, so Jim punches in his bypass code, perhaps with a little more force than necessary. 

The lights are dim in Bones’ quarters, and the doctor stands by the foot of his bed, clad in only in black boxer briefs that accentuate things a bit too much for comfort at the moment. His hair is mussed, and there’s still a slight sheen of sweat on him. 

“It smells in here,” Jim says to Bones. _Like sex,_ he says to himself. 

Bones shrugs. “I got more important things to do than clean my quarters, Captain.” 

“Is someone in your _shower?_ ” 

There’s a heavy, tense pause as Jim studies Bones. He’s acting strangely, like nothing Jim’s ever seen from him before. 

“What’s it to you?” Bones shrugs. He turns his back on Jim and grabs deodorant from his bedside table, lifting an arm to roll it on. 

“I wanted you on the bridge an hour ago.” 

“Yeah? I’m not on shift, there’s no crisis. You just want me there to hold your hand, Captain?” 

Jim squares his jaw. “I gave you _orders,_ Bones.” 

Bones looks at him levelly. Jim owes Bones a lot more than pulling rank, and he’s sorry he did it, but something strange is going on. “Yeah, well, I was busy. I told you I’d come when I could.” 

“Yeah,” Jim spits, “I think you did _come_ when you could.” 

Just then, someone steps out of Bones’ bathroom, towel wrapped around their torso. It’s that blonde woman from engineering, the one who always shoots Jim down. Jim frowns. “As you were,” he says, a little wounded. “Bones, I want you on the bridge.” 

Bones sniffs, and Jim turns on his heel. 

“Is he upset?” he hears the blonde engineer say as he leaves. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it, baby,” Bones replies. Jim feels dizzy and a little sick to his stomach, but not for the reasons he thinks he should be. 

*** 

There’s no one in medbay, for once. No one complaining of a stubbed toe or a dehydration headache, no crises, no landing parties beaming down and needing immediate medical attention on return. It’s just him and Christine Chapel in the medbay, alone, and nothing to do. 

_What the hell,_ McCoy thinks. “Chapel,” he calls. “Come in here for a second.” 

“Yes, Doctor?” she says, entering the main room of the medbay. 

Leaning back in his chair he watches her with interest. “You want to do something?” 

Blissfully, Christine picks up on the innuendo. Instantly her eyes light up and her body seems more nubile. “Do something?” she says, practically purring. McCoy always thought that was a myth, girls purring, but if anything had the power to convince him it wasn’t an exaggeration it was Christine at this moment. 

_Damn, she’s a fast study._ “Yeah. Something that might not be considered, ‘appropriate for work,’” he explains. 

“Oh yeah?” she says. She stalks over to him and swings her legs over his, sitting side-saddle on his lap. She wraps her arms around the back of his neck and he grins at her. “What do you want to do?” 

McCoy kisses at her collarbone and her neck, and she makes soft little noises in response. “I wanna eat you out,” he growls in her ear. She shivers in delight and adjusts her arms around his neck. 

“I thought you’d _never_ ask,” she says, and kisses him. 

McCoy puts a hand up her dress and between her legs, putting pressure on her clitoris. She grinds into it, smiling. 

“Doctor,” she says in mock-outrage. He chuckles and kisses her. Her arms wrap around his neck tightly, locking them together, and McCoy adjusts his hands so they’re under her thighs. He stands, lifting her with him, and sets her on one of the bio beds. The monitor above it comes to life, showing her vital signs. 

“Well, you’re alive,” Bones says, and lowers his head to kiss her neck. 

“Good to know,” she says, lying back on the bed. McCoy trails his hands down her torso and kneels at the foot of the biobed. Reaching up, he finds the top of her tights and pulls them, along with her underwear, down and off her legs, fingers trailing against the smooth skin of her butt and legs as he does so. Her pulse speeds up, the biobed announcing each beat. McCoy tosses her tights away and pushes her dress up so that it’s out of the way. 

Her skin is soft, and when McCoy slides fingers between her legs, Christine is already wet. She spreads her legs and moves so her hips are at the edge of the bed. She puts her legs on McCoy’s shoulders. 

“Well?” she says. McCoy grins up at her from between her legs and gets to it. 

He puts his tongue on her clit and two fingers inside her. He draws his tongue slowly over her clit and her folds, pausing here and there to suck lightly at her or flick his tongue over a sensitive spot. McCoy knows he has found her best spot when his tongue sliding over it gets a reflexive twitch of her hips. He persists at the spot and before long she comes with a drawn-out moan, once, then twice, before her body relaxes in post-orgasm bliss. 

“Your turn,” Christine says when she recovers, and McCoy gets to his feet. She switches places with him on the biobed, then straddles him. She strips off her dress first, then McCoy’s shirt. She unbuttons his pants and frees his erection from his boxers. McCoy quickly pulls his pants off himself. She guides him inside her and rides him, and he holds onto her hips. The monitor of the biobed shows his heart rate rising, and its beeping and their breath are the only sounds in the room. 

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Christine says afterwards, collecting her tights from where they hang over the corner of another biobed. 

“You’re damn right, it doesn’t,” Bones agrees, lounging on the biobed. His heart rate is slowing back down to resting. “Thanks.” 

She smiles at him as if to say, _you’re welcome._ She throws his boxers at him and collects the rest of her own clothes. 

*** 

Alpha shift is over, and Jim is headed back to his quarters. Everything should be ship-shape on his starship, but it’s not. Leonard McCoy is making out with someone in a red shirt in the hallway two doors down from Jim’s quarters. 

Jim can’t even begin to count the number of times the reverse of this situation had been true. But this is _Bones._ Bones, who never touched anyone in a sexual way the entire time he’s known him. Bones, who is practically _constructed out of_ baggage about his ex-wife. And now, he’s making out with one of Jim’s security personnel, and Jim has to walk past them to get to his quarters. 

As he approaches them, he can feel a little piece of his soul grow curmudgeonly and Bones-like. He hopes beyond hope that they won’t notice him, that he won’t have to _deal with this,_ but he’s completely and utterly out of luck. 

“Captain,” says the security officer as he breaks away from Bones’ rough kisses. Jim wonders if it feels like he’s always imagined, kissing Bones. Jim imagines it would feel something like a sexy fistfight. 

“Jim,” Bones says. He seems mildly embarrassed and mildly sorry, but overwhelmingly self-satisfied. 

“McCoy,” Jim acknowledges, “Ensign.” 

Everything is _not_ alright on the starship _Enterprise,_ and Jim wonders as he locks the door to his quarters behind him if it will wear off soon and he’ll find Bones somewhere with his hands on a hypospray instead of in his crewmans’ pants. 

*** 

“You boys sure you’re up for this?” McCoy asks. His fingers are on Pavel’s back, brushing lightly over his shoulders. 

“Would we be here if we weren’t?” Hikaru asks. There’s something wicked in his expression. The kid had hidden depths – McCoy knew he was in for a treat with these two, with all that energy in little Chekov, and every sign from Sulu that he was just as proficient in these matters as he was at piloting a starship. 

“Well then, boys,” McCoy says, leaning back on his hands on the bed, “why don’t you start?” 

The two of them are all too willing to oblige. They kiss deeply, pressing close to each other. One of Pavel’s hands grips Hikaru by the hair, and the other slips under Hikaru’s shirt. Hikaru grabs at Pavel’s ass, possessive and dominant. Before long, Hikaru is pulling Pavel’s shirt over his head, and Pavel’s hands return immediately to Hikaru’s body as soon as it’s discarded. 

Hikaru slips hands into the back of Pavel’s pants, hands holding the bare flesh of Pavel’s ass. Pavel undoes the button one-handed and lets Hikaru slide his pants and underwear down all in one motion. He stands, completely naked, cock erect, and waits for Hikaru to strip his own shirt off. Once he does, Hikaru comes back for more; he pulls Pavel to him by the waist and kisses him rougher. 

Pavel breaks away from Hikaru’s kiss and kneels in front of him, eyes at the level of the waist of Hikaru’s pants. He looks up with big, wide eyes and Hikaru touches his face. Pavel massages the bulge in Hikaru’s pants with one hand, then unbuttons the pants and moves them down past Hikaru’s hips, then his thighs, knees, calves, and finally lets Hikaru step out of them. Pavel licks his lips, and rubs the head of Hikaru’s penis, but stands from his kneeling position and kisses Hikaru again. 

McCoy watches the two of them, erection growing. Two slim, youthful bodies, lithe with muscle from Starfleet’s mandatory physical training, pressed flush to one another. Hikaru reaches down and takes Pavel’s cock in hand, stroking slowly. McCoy can’t keep a moan from escaping, and he reaches down to grab his own dick. 

“We are being very inconsiderate to our host, Hikaru,” Pavel says. One of his hands strokes Hikaru’s bare chest, and the muscles of his lower body twitch against the friction of Hikaru’s hand on his cock. 

“You’re right,” Hikaru says, and in moments Hikaru is tipping McCoy’s head up to kiss him while Pavel undoes the button of his pants. Pavel wraps wet lips around McCoy’s cock, thumb pressing at the base. McCoy moans into Hikaru’s mouth, and reaches for Hikaru’s erection. 

Pavel’s tongue and lips soon have McCoy’s hips twitching in anticipation. “Do you want to fuck him, Doctor?” Hikaru says, breaking away from kissing McCoy. It sounds lecherous and angelic at the same time, and McCoy thinks he’s never wanted anything more. 

“Yeah,” McCoy says. 

“I’ll warm him up for you.” 

Pavel lays down on his stomach on the bed, spreading his legs slightly. Hikaru grabs a bottle of lube from his bag and coats his fingers in it. He slides his fingers between Pavel’s cheeks, inserting just one finger at first. 

Pavel bucks back against Hikaru’s touch, lifting his hips from the bed. Hikaru slips a hand under Pavel, lifting him with a touch at the hip so that he’s on his hands and knees. It makes it easier for Hikaru to add another finger and, after the application of more lube, a third. 

McCoy watches, massaging his cock slowly. Hikaru passes him the bottle of lube and McCoy makes sure he’s sufficiently lubricated. 

“I’m ready for you,” Pavel says after a minute or two, voice husky and cheeks pink with blood beginning to spread under his skin in a rather attractive blush. 

Hikaru moves aside slightly and McCoy positions himself behind Pavel. He inserts himself into Pavel’s hole, and Hikaru slips his fingers out as McCoy enters. 

“ _Yes,_ ” Pavel moans, letting McCoy sink into him almost to his full length. 

Hikaru circles around the bed and stands in front of Pavel, letting him take his cock in his mouth. Pavel goes about it eagerly. 

It’s bliss. Pavel is moaning around Hikaru’s dick; Hikaru has a hand knotted in his own hair and a hand on Pavel’s face; McCoy can feel himself building to orgasm. 

“Do you want to come, Pavel?” McCoy asks when Pavel’s moans become more insistent. He thrusts again, and again. “Do you want me to make you come?” 

“ _Da,_ ” Pavel says, removing Hikaru’s dick from his mouth to reply, “ _Da, vrach,_ I want you to make me come.” 

McCoy reaches around to take Pavel’s cock in hand, and continues thrusting as he strokes. 

Pavel is close enough that it only takes a few strokes before he comes. He lets out a keening moan, almost girlish in its pitch. His cum spills onto McCoy’s comforter, but some gets on the hand McCoy is using to stroke him, and lets McCoy’s hand slip easier over Pavel’s cock as it twitches with his orgasm. 

It’s enough to set McCoy over the edge. He comes hard to the small sounds Pavel is making in the aftermath of his own orgasm, mouth still full of Hikaru. McCoy gives it another few strokes, then pulls out, some of his cum trickling down the inside of Pavel’s thigh as he does so. Pavel continues his business with Hikaru, and McCoy squeezes and strokes his dick and watches Pavel bring Hikaru to orgasm as well. Pavel swallows everything, even wiping some of Hikaru’s cum off his chin. 

Afterwards, Pavel rolls onto his back and laughs, breathy and satisfied. “That was good, yeah?” he says to McCoy and Hikaru, looking at each of them in turn. 

“Yeah,” Hikaru says. He kisses Pavel deeply, and Bones suddenly wants to do the same. He gets his chance when Hikaru breaks away to clean himself up. Bones lifts Pavel into a sitting position and puts his hands on Pavel’s jaw, kissing him deep and full of all the things McCoy could spare to give him. He tastes like saliva and Hikaru and Hikaru’s semen, and it’s arousing though McCoy is spent. 

“You did good, kid,” McCoy says to him after. “Now let’s get us all cleaned up, huh?” 

Pavel lies back on the bed and waits for Hikaru to return with a washcloth or some tissues. 

*** 

This is the fourth time this week Bones hasn’t answered his communicator. Jim has every right to court-martial him, since none of these incidents have been due to anything _professional._

He storms down the corridor towards Bones’ quarters, deciding it was better to grace Bones with his presence rather than sending a security team to drag him to the bridge. Especially after Jim had caught him and that security ensign in the hallway two days ago. 

Jim bangs on the door of Bones’ quarters insistently, not really caring what he disturbed. Bones had been acting strange, sleeping with every crewman and crewwoman he could lay hands on. If he didn’t know better, he’d say Bones was taking a leaf from Jim’s book. Had the doctor snapped? Was he victim to some kind of alien sex fever? 

There’s no answer, so Jim pounds on the door again. “Bones, goddamn it, I’m coming in,” Jim says. His code clears the door and he bursts into McCoy’s quarters, yelling, “Fucking talk to me!” 

Jim is in no way prepared for the scene that greets him. Chekov, looking surprised; Sulu, looking so embarrassed he might throw up; and McCoy, boiling with rage so complete Jim thinks the ship might burn up; and all of them very, _very_ naked. 

“James Kirk,” McCoy growls, “Get the hell out of my quarters.” 

“You’re sleeping with my helmsman _and_ my navigator?” Jim says. His voice does not sound as confident as he wants it to, and it only makes him angrier. “Jesus Christ, is there anyone on this ship you haven’t fucked?” 

“You.” 

There’s a silence that stretches nearly to breaking, and Jim is too busy gaping at Bones to notice the grimaces Chekov and Sulu are giving each other behind Bones’ back. 

“What?” Jim says quietly. 

“You, I haven’t had sex with _you,_ ” Bones seethes. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to. God damn it, I’ve been fucking _in love with you_ for _years_ , and you’re a stupid, idiotic, blind-and-deaf man-child who never thinks about anything but himself!” 

Jim’s mouth is hanging open a little, pink lips parted and blue eyes wide. 

“Should we leave?” Sulu asks. Wisely, he and Chekov have drawn the sheets of Bones’ bed over their genitals, and Chekov is stretching himself as far as possible to try to reach their clothes on the floor without letting the sheet slip. Bones, however, stands there with arms folded, naked as the day he was born, without so much as a blush. Jim’s face was red – he could feel it. It’s not like this was the first time he’d seen Bones naked. There had been a couple of times; stupid things, really, like Bones not realizing Jim had spent the night and walking around his dorm unclothed after a shower. It had never worried Jim – in fact, he’d always liked the view. 

“In _love_ with me?” Jim yells. “You’re a cantankerous, bitter, old divorcee, how could I ever realize you were interested in me? You do nothing but push people away, and I figured I’d never have a chance in Hell of getting you to loosen up for five minutes, let alone sleep with you!” 

“Yeah, well, you were wrong,” Bones says. He circles around to the other side of the bed and hands Chekov their clothes. “All I wanted was you, goddamn it. Every fucking night you dragged some drunk coed back to your room – or _my_ room, and _fuck you_ for all the times you did that – I wanted it to be _me._ But you’re right. Why would the famous James T. Kirk want to fuck with some washed-up asshole country doctor?” He grabs his own pants and yanks them on, and turns to face Jim drawn up to his full height. 

“I could have you court-martialed for insubordination, McCoy,” Jim threatens. 

“I want a transfer,” Bones says with quiet finality. “To a different ship. Or planetside.” 

“Good! I’ll give it to you!” 

“Hey,” Sulu says meekly from the bed. Shit, Jim had forgotten they were still there. Clearly so had Bones. “I don’t think – ” 

“Be quiet, Sulu, that’s an order,” Jim says. 

“You can’t let Doctor McCoy – ” Chekov starts. 

“You too, Chekov, _quiet._ Jesus, you banged McCoy and not me? And I had no idea you and Sulu were fucking, too.” 

“Don’t yell at them, they’re not the ones you’re mad at,” Bones counters. He looks as though he’d like nothing better than to give Jim a good shove, or potentially to lay him out cold. 

“Get yourselves cleaned up,” Jim says to the three of them. “McCoy, I’m drafting your transfer now.” 

“Fine.” Bones glowers. Chekov and Sulu struggle to get their clothes back on under the sheets. “ _Sir._ ” 

Jim turns and storms out of Bones’ quarters. Angry tears well in his eyes, and he blinks them away. 

This entire time, it’s been about _them._ It’s been about him and Bones, and about him not making a move on Bones. He never had, it was true. He’d wanted to. God, he’d wanted to. The number of times Jim thought about cornering Bones in an empty corridor or waiting for him in his room or letting Bones pin him to a bed, well, it didn’t bear thinking about. But he’d never done it, because it was _Bones,_ who would probably just be angry if Jim tried to kiss him. He was angry about everything else all the time anyway. 

Well, why couldn’t Bones make a move, if he was so desperate to have Jim? His dick wasn’t broken – clearly. But what if… 

What if he _had?_ What if Jim had just never seen it as… All those times with Bones falling asleep at the foot of the couch with Jim’s head in his lap, picnics in remote corners of the Academy campus, going out for drinks and lunches and dinners every other day – hell, even dragging Jim onto the Enterprise on her maiden voyage (at great risk to _both_ their careers) could have been part of Bones’ weird and mysterious mating ritual. 

Bones was gruff, a believer in tough love, _especially_ for Jim. It could be easy to misinterpret signs like that, when he always said the opposite of what he meant. _Jim, I don’t know why I’m friends with you; Jim, you’re more trouble than you’re worth; Jim, I hate you._ He never meant any of it, and Jim had always known that. What he meant was _you’re my best friend, please never leave me, Jim, I love you._ Jim was left with a feeling of guilt that he was unable to quash. He should have done it. He should have done it years ago, and he hadn’t, and now Bones was _transferring._

No. No, he wasn’t. Jim wouldn’t let him – he was the damn captain on this ship, and he wasn’t about to let his CMO and his best friend walk away for some planetside posting where he’d never get to see the stars; or at least, wouldn’t get to see them like this. 

*** 

“Kirk to McCoy. My quarters, at your earliest convenience.” 

It’s fifteen minutes before Bones walks in. He folds his arms in front of him, looking angrier than usual. Jim studies him for a moment before speaking. 

“I’m not letting you transfer.” 

“I _requested_ a transfer, _Captain._ ” Bones digs his fingers into his arms, as if leaving bruises in his own skin was going to convince Jim to grant his request. 

“I can’t let you. I can’t lose the best CMO in Starfleet. I can’t lose my best friend.” 

“I don’t want to be your friend.” 

“You want to be my lover.” 

“Wanted. I chased after you like a god damn teenager for years, Jim, I was sick of doing it. I was sick of watching everyone else have what I wanted. I wanted to have what I should have had at the Academy, while I was pining after you.” 

“Jesus, Bones, I’m _sorry,_ ” Jim says. It comes gushing out of him like blood, spilling everywhere in spurts he can feel in his veins. “I was wild at the Academy and I should have made a move but I _didn’t,_ because I was scared it would ruin us, and now I fucking _understand_ what it was like watching me with all those people. It fucking hurts and I’m fucking jealous. I was jealous and I was wrong. God, please don’t transfer. I’ll lose my mind if you’re not here.” 

Bones seems to soften. “I don’t want to transfer. I never really did. Fuck, you’re unbearable. But somehow I’ve been doing it for years. Why should I give up now?” 

“Well, you fucked half the crew,” Jim laughs. “That’s a hell of a midlife crisis, Bones. Even I don’t have that much game.” 

“Maybe half of them were your leftovers anyway,” Bones shrugs. 

“I’ve never slept with Chekov or Sulu,” Jim says, eyebrows knitting, “Or the blonde engineer. Or Chapel. Or that guy from security. Or the gamma shift helmsman, or – ” 

“Yeah, like I said, _maybe_ half of them were your leftovers.” 

“God, you’ve been busy.” 

“Well, shit, one more can’t hurt, can it?” Bones says, and pulls Jim to him by his hip, then a hand on his ass. Kissing Bones is toothy and angry and soft all at the same time, and Jim feels years fall away, like they should have been doing this since that first week at the Academy. Jim’s hands fly to Bones’ hair and face, hungry for him as if he’d been in a desert for years. 

“Jesus, Kirk,” Bones says as Jim forces hands up under Bones’ shirt, “where’s the fire?” 

“You’re the one who went off fucking my entire crew ‘cause you were sexually frustrated. Don’t make this about me.” 

“This is just as much about you as it is about me. Wait what are you – oh. Yeah.” 

Jim pulls Bones’ shirt off over his head, and puts his hands on the skin of Bones’ chest. He’s hairy – not too hairy, though, because Jim has definitely slept with guys who were too hairy – and Jim runs his palm over Bones’ pecs and ribs. “We could have been doing this for years. I’m an idiot.” 

“I believe I called you a stupid, idiotic, blind-and-deaf man-child who never thinks about anything but himself.” 

“Shut up.” Jim kisses him to make sure his order is followed. 

Bones guides Jim to the bed, laying him on his back. He strips the shirt off Jim’s body and leans over him, putting one knee between Jim’s legs and the other by his hip. Bones kisses little kisses around Jim’s neck and collarbone. 

“How was having sex with Chekov and Sulu?” Jim asks. Bones’ hands follow the angles of Jim’s torso, warm against Jim’s hot skin. 

“Amazing,” Bones says, “Chekov’s got quite a mouth on him, and I don’t mean he’s talkative.” 

“Well, he is,” Jim shrugs. Bones kisses between Jim’s pecs and down, from sternum to navel to just above his dick. 

Bones tugs Jim’s pants and underwear down around his knees, and Jim kicks them the rest of the way off. “Aren’t you going to ask about Chapel? You been wanting to bang her since she was assigned to the Enterprise.” 

“Fuck, yeah, how _was_ that?” Bones is touching his thighs, and Jim shivers a little. It’s not that his touch is cold, just unexpected and long-awaited. 

“Awesome,” Bones answers, “She does this thing where she – ” 

“Oh my god I don’t want to know if I’ll never get to experience it. Did you major in torture in undergrad? Cause you’re an expert.” 

“I majored in biology and health sciences as an undergrad,” Bones shrugs. He grasps Jim’s cock at the base and rubs a little. “I picked up torture in my spare time.” He bends to take Jim in his mouth. 

“Fuck will you just – oh my god, yeah, that’s good.” Bones has over half Jim’s length in his mouth, and he runs his tongue down the underside. “Mmm. And the fucking engineer, the blonde?” 

“Mm. Had better.” 

“Are you clean?” Jim asks as Bones runs his tongue over the tip of Jim’s cock. “You slept with half my crew, you could have caught something.” 

“I know the full medical history of every person I’ve ever slept with, and not just on this ship, you little shit,” Bones says, taking Jim’s dick out of his mouth. He strokes it absently as he talks. “If anyone should be asking anyone if they’re clean, it should be me asking you. Luckily I know you were all clear for your screening three weeks ago. Unless there’s something you need to tell me.” 

“No, I haven’t slept with anyone in months. You’ve been snatching them all out from under me. Seriously, how did you convince Chekov? I’ve asked him like three times.” 

“Maybe you weren’t making the right offer. I asked the kid _and_ his boyfriend.” 

“Bones, you’re a dirty old man.” 

“I know.” 

Bones takes Jim in his mouth again, working his tongue around the head. Jim’s toes curl and his fingers grasp his sheets. “Bones,” he gasps. 

“You getting close, kid?” Bones asks after a while. Before Jim can respond, he bends a little and takes as much of Jim’s cock in his mouth as he can. 

“Will you – aah, god, Jesus Christ – yeah – ” Jim says, trying to speak between involuntary exclamations of pleasure, “will you fuck me? I mean like – _oh._ Shit. _Yeah._ There’s lube in the top drawer.” 

Bones retrieves it and lubes his fingers, working them one by one into Jim’s ass. 

After a while, between Jim’s soft groans, Bones says, “I always knew you were a bottom.” 

“Well, fuck, you caught me,” Jim retorts. “Are you gonna fuck me or stand around with your dick in your hand all day?” 

Bones snorts and pushes his way into Jim slowly. Jim wraps his legs around Bones’ hips, crossing them at the ankle. 

“Aaah, _Bones,_ ” Jim moans. “God. Did you know you kiss like a sexy fistfight? I don’t know how a fistfight can be sexy but that’s what kissing you is like.” 

Bones establishes his rhythm and thrusts deep into Jim again and again. “Are you always this stupid when you’re getting fucked?” 

“I’m this stupid even when I’m _not_ getting fucked.” 

“I know.” 

For a while, the only sounds are their breathing and noises of pleasure. Bones can tell Jim is getting close to orgasm by the way his back arches, and the way his breathing gets short. 

“Bones, can you help me out here?” Jim says suddenly. He nods towards his dick, meaning for Bones to help him get off. 

“No,” says Bones, continuing his rhythmic thrusting. “Do it yourself. I already sucked your cock.” 

“Fuck you,” Jim says, and reaches down and takes his dick in hand, stroking slowly. When he comes, it’s with only a single, short moan, and his cum lands on his belly, pooling around his navel and following the V of his hip. 

“Gosh, you’re pretty when you come,” Bones says, grinning down at him. Jim’s cheeks are flushed and his hair is damp with sweat, but he smiles back. 

“Shut up,” he says, and laughs. “Bones… oh, yeah, right th– _yeah…_ ” 

“You never shut up, do you?” 

“Never. That’s why I became a captain, so people would be under orders to listen to me. Yeah – ah – _fuck me…_ ” 

“Kid, shut your mouth or put it to good use,” Bones pants. “Fuck… Call me _doctor._ ” 

“Alright. Fuck me, _Doctor_ McCoy. Yeah…” 

Bones pulls out of Jim as he comes, letting his cum spill on Jim’s stomach next to Jim’s own. 

“Romantic,” Jim says. 

“Yeah, real heartwarming,” Bones says. He straightens and looks down at Jim, who watches him back, blissed-out and on his back in the tangle of his sheets. 

“Was it everything you dreamed, Bonesy?” Jim asks. The pink is starting to fade from his face and chest, and his chest rises and falls rhythmically with his breath. “You know, maybe we should start telling people _this_ is the origin of your nickname.” 

“Only if you want me to kill you and jettison your body into space.” 

“Insubordination. I still don’t accept your transfer request, though. How will you fuck me if you’re planetside somewhere?” 

“I can’t transfer, you’ll die without me. I’m the only reason you’re still around to run that mouth of yours.” 

“That’s fair.” Jim wriggles upwards on the bed and grabs a box of tissues from his nightstand. He wipes the semen off his stomach and tosses the used tissues away in the reprocessor. 

“Go shower,” Jim says to Bones, swatting him playfully. “You’ve got to be on shift soon.” 

“What about you?” 

“I’m the captain, I can be on whatever shift I want to be on.” 

Bones kisses him, soft and sweet this time. “I’m not going to shower,” he says. “Love stinks.” 

“So do disgusting CMOs.” 

Bones studies Jim carefully. “I love you, you know,” he says, as if the words were rusty. Jim supposes he really hasn’t used them in a while. 

“I love you too,” Jim replies. Not that he says that very often, either. He hopes they’ll both get the chance more often now.


End file.
